[Dingle-Dingle]

I was out drinking with my mates at a party, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my G/F.
Is she bloody insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A new charity has been started for the new immigrants who've just been let in,

"Shave the Children"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realising that "iTouch Kids" is not a good product name.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I got myself some new aftershave.

It`s called Bread Crumbs.

The birds love it. DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My mate Dave has drunk many weird and wonderful things in his time.
I asked him if he'd ever drunk cologne.
"No," he replied. "Always with mates."

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Ladies,the clocks go back this weekend, so if you put your anti wrinkle cream on on Saturday night,
on Sunday morning you will wake up looking one hour younger.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A Chinese guy goes for an interview at the Baggies.

Gouchan Lai says.....

Mr Chan, you have the job, you'll be in charge of supplies..

2 hours later TP is looking for Mr Chan...

Just as he is about to give up looking as no one has seen him,

Mr Chan pops out from behind a cabinet

SUPPLIES!!!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I've been left with severe pain and swelling after a close encounter with one of those false widows!
Turns out her husband was alive and kicking.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Whilst we get an extra hours sleep on Sunday, spare a thought for the National Trust Volunteers who work tirelessly through the night to move the stones back 1 hour at various stone circles around the country side.
This is done twice a year to make sure the stones align correctly with the sun..

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Do you remember years ago, when we were kids, our teachers and parents made us give money to all the poor kids in the world?

Whoever would have thought so many would come over to thank us personally.

DD