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#1
Replicating the feature on The Albion Board and so frequently contributed to by some but enjoyed by many Cool
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#2
Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't got out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Karen says she'll go out but says she doesn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mum! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, they hit it off immediately and, after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in the countryside.
Their first night away, she undresses as he does. There she stands, nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit.
Looking at her, he asks, "Why the black panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore but, down there, I am still in mourning."
He knows he's not getting lucky that night.
The following night, the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit... except that he is wearing a black condom.
She looks at him and asks, "Why are you wearing a black condom?"
He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

DD Big Grin Big Grin
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#3
(03-09-2014, 23:03)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't got out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Karen says she'll go out but says she doesn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mum! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, they hit it off immediately and, after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in the countryside.
Their first night away, she undresses as he does. There she stands, nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit.
Looking at her, he asks, "Why the black panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore but, down there, I am still in mourning."
He knows he's not getting lucky that night.
The following night, the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit... except that he is wearing a black condom.
She looks at him and asks, "Why are you wearing a black condom?"
He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

DD  Big Grin  Big Grin
Welcome Big Grin
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#4
I really fancied dessert last night but never had any.
Am I the only person that thinks a flap Jack sounds like part of a gynecologists tool kit???

DD Tongue Tongue
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#5
I am now at peace after meeting my inner self.
Thats the last time i´m buying that cheap, crap, bogroll from Aldi.

DD Angry Angry
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#6
I heard the Pope was gonna hold a debate on contraception but he pulled out at the last moment.

DD Rolleyes Rolleyes
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#7
Tsk tsk tsk

That's ten Hail Marys for you DD
Some days I'm top dog, most days I'm just the lamp post.
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#8
Any crane or dozer operators out there.?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glPUtcvDBzM

DD WhistleWhistle
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#9
If you reverse the letters of the president of Zimbabwe's name, it spells
E Ba Gum Trebor!

DD Big Grin Big Grin

The G/F & I decided to take an organised trip to Afghanistan to see for ourselves what the place was like. It didn't start well when the train we were travelling on, broke down a few miles North of the capital. What a third world shit-hole! Streets full of angry bearded types glaring at us & the Mrs stood out in her sundress as all other women had head to toe burqas. We are so dead I thought !!!

Anyway,Dave the organiser suddenly remembered that Finsbury Park had a tube station,so we were able to get safely to Kings Cross & then catch our flight on to Kabul from Heathrow.

DD Blush Blush
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#10
A woman in Dudley has given birth to a 23 pound boy.
Doctors say they expect the kid to be walking 6 months before his mum.

DD Big Grin Big Grin
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