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The Off Topic Thread
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18-08-2016, 00:56
Just got my balls out at the hospital but they have no idea what this red rash is.
Hopefully the doctor will come and see me soon because the receptionist is useless DD 
Ubique.
18-08-2016, 21:39
No Win no Fee what a load of xxxx bollocks ! ..
On Saturday night I was walking home after 17 pints of John Smiths Bitter and a chicken vindaloo . I couldn't get a Taxi as I was robbed) The curry was 20 quid ! It was a 3 mile hike home and not one public bog in sight , then I saw it . SALVATION A Public loo ..... Of course it was bloody closed . Fancy being closed at 3.00 AM ! was in AGONY Belly ache and buttocks clenched so tight that a piece of coal between the cheeks would have turned into a diamond . . Sadly it was at last too much and I farted and followed through thus writing off a pair of brand new Levi jeans and Calvin Klein boxers . I arrived home and after changing immediately got on the phone and telephoned my local no Win no fee 24 hour hotline , only to be informed by some snotty bint that Farting and following through on the way home after 17 pints of bitter and a vindaloo curry Thus writing off pair of new boxers and levis did not constitute an accident ! .. Of Course it was a xxxx accident ! As If I would do it on PURPOSE DD
Ubique.
19-08-2016, 00:42
(This post was last modified: 19-08-2016, 00:42 by BaggyBomber.)
Brilliant, DD, just brilliant!
19-08-2016, 16:48
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with
19-08-2016, 21:06
Me and the G/F were enjoying a steamy shower together last night:
"Your tits look great all soapy and warm." "Stop taking the piss or I'm getting out" I said. DD
Ubique.
21-08-2016, 00:49
During labour the pain is so great that a woman......
Can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a cold. DD
Ubique.
22-08-2016, 23:42
I have just cleared my phone contact list of all my German friends,
I am now Hans free... DD
Ubique.
23-08-2016, 09:07
In deepest Borneo today a very small tribesman (4ft 3 in ) was found standing over the body of a Tyrannosaurus rex when asked how it had died he replied ,I killed it with my club ,
How big was the club I asked There are 349 of us........ DD
Ubique.
23-08-2016, 11:17
Great to see that a West Brom comedian, Masai Graham, has won this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival joke of the year. The joke: "My Dad suggested I register for a donor card - he's a man after my own heart". As Masai said on receiving the award, "Not bad for someone from West Brom".
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