[talkSAFT]

Congratulations Exteecee. Thats right, thats right, thats right, thats right........ It was Mud. DD    

Nice one, DD.
Mud played regularly at the old Rainbow club in '67. Anyone old as me who remembers that place, above the Co-op in Town?

[Dingle-Dingle]

I Went to an AA meeting and to my horror, one after the other they stood up and proclaimed to be alcoholics.
The last people I want fixing my car is a bunch of boastful drunkards.
I just hope the RAC has a more stringent approach to their employee screening process than the AA have!

DD

[4evaabaggie]

The pope and Donald Trump were on a stage together in front of a capacity crowd at the Yankee stadium. The pope turned to Trump and said "I can make all these people happy with one wave of my hand", Trump said "so can I". He waved and the crowd cheered. The pope said " but I can make them really happy, a happiness that lasts more than a moment. A happiness they will remember all their lives" Trump said " I would like to see that, go on do it" The pope said " are you sure" Trump said " yes, do it". So the pope turned to Trump, raised his right hand, he waved it suddenly across Trumps face, connecting sharply, Trump stumbled and fell of the stage. The crowd roared approval and laughed liked they had never laughed before. "Told you" said the pope.

[Dingle-Dingle]

2 years ago I bought my wife a fridge for her Birthday.
Every time she opens it her face just lights up.

DD    

[Dingle-Dingle]

I had a job at a Cadbury's factory putting fudge bars into boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,
"Oh packing fudge are we?" Or "Hey up, he's packing fudge again." Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.
I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.

   

DD    

[Dingle-Dingle]

Just what is it with schools?
I spend a fortune for kids uniforms and then I have to pay a pound so they can go to school on a 'Non-uniform day'. Then my children get sent home from school to put some clothes on and I receive a warning that social services have been informed.
Why do they change the rules without telling me? It's no wonder the education system is in ruins.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I was in our local Indian restaurant last night..... The waiter came over and said "Curry ok, Sir"

I replied.... "Go on then ... but I`m not a very good singer!!"

DD

[BaggieSteve]

I was in our local Indian restaurant last night..... The waiter came over and said "Curry ok, Sir"

I replied.... "Go on then ... but I`m not a very good singer!!"

DD    

Shocker ??

[Dingle-Dingle]

With a very seductive voice a wife asked her husband,
"Have you ever seen Twenty Pounds all crumpled up?" "No" said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage, created by a soft, silky, pushup bra, and, pulled out a crumpled Twenty pound note.
He took the crumpled Twenty pound note from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked, "Have you ever seen Fifty pounds all crumpled up?" "No I haven't," he said with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, unzipped her skirt, letting it drop to the floor and seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled Fifty puond note.
He took the crumpled Fifty pound note and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
"Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 50,000 pounds all crumpled up?"
"No way he said, becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied:

"Go look in the garage."

DD

[Worldclassalbion]

For my sons birthday we bought him an iPod, my daughter had an iPhone for her birthday and for my birthday I was pleased to receive an iPad. Thinking along the same lines I got my wife an iRon - and then the fight started!

---

The wife says, if she finds me on a porn site again, she'll bang my head against the Feckin keyboarcchhjjddfhurbbghjbhasdfjkluvnvggggdtjksfnjkqwetyrb!wnCMbc