07-03-2016, 21:40
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds.......... DD 
Ubique.
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The Off Topic Thread
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07-03-2016, 22:45
Who won the 1st Tour de France.........
The 7th German Panzer Division. DD 
Ubique.
07-03-2016, 22:50
why are all the roads into Paris lined with trees?
So the German army can march in the shade ......
08-03-2016, 13:24
I went to the Police station and demanded to speak to the burglar who had broken into my house last night.
"Youll get your chance in court" the desk Sergeant said. "No, you don`t understand" I Said. "I need to know how he got into the house in the middle of the night, without waking my G/F. I`ve been trying to do that for the last 10 years"!! DD 
Ubique.
09-03-2016, 01:58
I walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked... "Is this good for Wasps??"
The assistant replied... "No it F"£$ing kills them". DD 
Ubique.
09-03-2016, 02:59
Studies have shown that 1 out of 3 Members of Parliament are just as stupid as the other 2. DD
Ubique.
09-03-2016, 18:12
I'm in hospital with food poisoning.
Swallowed a daffodil bulb thinking it was an onion. I'll be ok; should be out sometime in the spring........... DD 
Ubique.
10-03-2016, 22:24
My G/F asked me what my plans were for Easter......
"Same as Jesus" I said..... "Disappear Friday, turn up Monday". DD  Sorry BV.
Ubique.
11-03-2016, 14:03
Next week`s "Through the Keyhole".
Which footballer lives in a house like this?? DD
Ubique.
11-03-2016, 16:50
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"
"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out??: DD
Ubique.
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