[Dingle-Dingle]

How do you know if there's a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

What do you call a snowman with a six pack?

An abdominal snowman.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Paddy says to Mick...... "I can`t remember the name of that historical Greek film Brad Pitt was in."

Mick says "Troy".

Paddy "I Fecckin am but I still can`t remember."

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A mother is with her 5 year old boy at the zoo when they reach the
elephant cage.
The 5 year old boy looks with amazement at the large beast and says to his Mom, "What's that long thing hanging down from the elephant?"
Mom replies "That's his trunk."
The little boy goes, "I know that, the thing to the other side of
the trunk."
The Mom replies "Oh, that's his tail."
The boy goes, "I know that! No, what's that big thing hanging down in between the trunk and tail."
Mother, wanting to avoid this subject at all costs, just says "Oh,
that's nothing" and whisks him off to the next exhibit.
Two weeks later he goes to the same zoo with his dad. They are at the elephant exhibit and he asks his dad "What's that long thing
hanging down from the elephant?"
The dad replies, "That's his trunk."
"No, behind that!" says the kid.
"Oh, well that's his tail" replies the father.
"NO, in-between the trunk and the tail!" yells the kid.
Dad replies, "Son, that's the elephant's penis."
The kid, a bit puzzled, tells his dad, "But Mom said it was nothing."
Dad replied, "Well, your mom's been spoiled.".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign from our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing, any-more.'

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My G/F and I went to the McDonald's checkout to pay our bill and I gave the cashier a £5 note.
Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.
Do not confuse the cashier`s at McDonald's.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a Local County Council employee. (And she's NOT blonde).

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?

Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

What do you call a singing elf with sideburns?

Elfis.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

What's Good King Wenceslas's favourite pizza?

One that's deep pan, crisp and even...!

DD