|
The Off Topic Thread
|
01-05-2015, 01:05
According to the latest scientific data, on average, a European man will have sex two to three times a week,
whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. I find this news deverstating. I had no idea I was Japanese. DD 
Ubique.
02-05-2015, 11:55
Three young lads from Dudley were in London when they saw a drowning man in the river Thames. They all dive in to save him from drowning and saved his life. The man said that he was David Cameron and that for saving his life he would grant them all one wish each.
The first lad said that he wished for a new bike as mum and dad could never afford to buy him one. OK said Cameron,please be here tomorrow and my secretary will bring you a diamond studded bike with five gears. He said to the second lad, and what is your wish,and the boy replied, I would love a laptop computer but,my parents do not have enough money to buy me one. Right said Cameron,be here tomorrow and my secretary will bring you a top of the range Dell computer Turning to the third lad he asked,and what is you wish,and the lad replied that he wished for a state funeral. Cameron replied a state funeral,you are much to young to want one of those. The lad said,Mr Cameron,when my mum and dad back in Dudley find out that I helped to save you from drowning they are going to bloody well kill me. DD 
Ubique.
04-05-2015, 00:48
Victoria Beckham surprised David at his 40th birthday party ::
She jumped out from one of the candles on his cake !! DD
Ubique.
04-05-2015, 11:32
This is interesring, Paquiao was the Red corner, Mayweather was the Blue corner, official judges appeared to have given the points to Paquiao yet
result was a reverse, look what is hand written in the bottom of the score card on the right? DD 
Ubique.
04-05-2015, 17:17
Message to Russell Brand:
Shut your big sloppy gob up!!! If I was undecided who to vote for, and that useless xxxx recommended Labour....... I'd vote Tory. Who the xxxx does he think he is anyway? He was particularly useless as a comedian, and vile towards Manuel. Next thing you know he's on Newsnight, and Paxman made him look the xxxx that he is. Now......whoever advised Ed Miliband to give him a voice? He's got less credibility than anyone else in the country, yet he boosts the xxxx's ego by speaking publicly to him as if anyone gives a toss. Bad move, Ed. If you know what's good for you, publicly state that not all Labour voters are as thick as Brand. 
04-05-2015, 18:26
Agreed Talksaft.
If ever there was a person I would like to tow out to sea and sink it's that barsteward. No not Ed (Not yet anyway)but the unfunny comedian. Couldn't we put him on a raft with Nicola Sturgeon and anchor them both in the middle of the Atlantic.
Some days I'm top dog, most days I'm just the lamp post.
04-05-2015, 19:43
(04-05-2015, 18:26)silverbaggie Wrote: Agreed Talksaft. But what if they procreated........... The stuff of nightmares. DD 
Ubique.
04-05-2015, 19:52
(04-05-2015, 19:43)Dingle-Dingle Wrote:(04-05-2015, 18:26)silverbaggie Wrote: Agreed Talksaft. Yuk! The real Crankies!
08-05-2015, 18:30
A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.' 'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..' 'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?' 'Anything, Father.' 'I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.' 'Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.' The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. 'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?'.......she consented and he fondled them for several minutes. 'Father, could I ask something of you?' 'Yes, Sister?' 'I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?' 'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe. 'Oh Father, may I touch it?' The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. 'Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can Give Life.' 'Is that true Father?' 'Yes, it is, Sister.' 'Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let's get the xxxx out of here!' DD 
Ubique.
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
