[Dingle-Dingle]

How do you know if a Dingle has been in your back yard?

Your wheelie bin is on bricks. DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Bill was instructing CPR to a group of Year 10 pupils as part of their PHSE syllabus.

Classes always used a mannequin known as "Resusci Annie". This particular model was just a head and torso, no legs as it was easier to store it in it's case.

The kids would practise on Annie in groups before they were tested.

On examination day Little Beefy, as he had been taught knelt down next to Annie, shook her asking "Are you alright," he then put his ear next to her mouth to feel for breathing. So far, so good.

He the turned to Bill and with a straight face said, "Sir, she says she can't feel her legs."

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

When I was a kid my Mum said I could be anything I wanted to be, the sky's the limit, which was crap because I wanted to be an astronaut.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and
We ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new taser!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

RUDE WARNING......... If easily offended stop here.
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.What's the difference between a woman and a dog turd?

Nothing. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

DD
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[Dingle-Dingle]

I went up into the attic and found a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.

Unfortunately Stradivarius was a terrible painter and Rembrandt made lousy
violins.

Sounds like a Baggies Pulis team at the moment. DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A duck is standing at the side of the road waiting to cross.
A chicken walks up and says, "I wouldn't bother mate, you'll never hear the fukcing end of it."

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

When I was in the scouts, the leader told me to pitch a tent.
I couldn't find any pitch, so I used creosote.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My fortune cookie last night.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating. "My son, you shouldn't be doing that", said the priest. "You should be saving that for when you get married."
The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply said "Yes, Father."
About 10 years later the priest was in his study when a young man, in his early twenties came in.
"Yes, my son?" said the priest.
"Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I'll never forget the advice you gave then."
"And what was that, my son?"
"Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I should be saving it for when I get married", said the young man.
"That sounds like something I probably would have said" said the priest.
"Did you take my advice?"
"Yes I did, Father; but there's only one problem."
"What's that, my son?"
"Well, I have a 55 gallon drum of the stuff in the back of my pickup truck. Now that I am getting married, what am I supposed to do with it?"

DD