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Air guitar training course...

Online practise.

3 Month subscription £12 p/m

No strings attached.

DD Sick Sick
Ubique.
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My mate set me up on a blind date and he said “I’d better warn you, she’s expecting a baby”.

I felt like such an idiot sitting waiting at the bar in a nappy.
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In the pub with my mate Dave last night and he calls the waiter over and says "Waiter, my soup is cold"

"It`s Gazpacho, Sir"

"Gaz Pacho, my soup is cold"

DD Doh Doh
Ubique.
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Top tip....

Winter is coming, so don`t forget to reverse your battery so that the heating comes on, and not the air conditioning.

DD Thumb up Thumb up
Ubique.
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In the pub last night and the local Dominatrix announced that due to the financial situation she may have to close down.

My mate Dave suggested we have a whip round for her......

DD Doh Doh
Ubique.
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Andrex hits the skids, due to paper shortage.

A spokesperson for the toilet tissue company says "Business has gone down the pan".

DD Sick Sick
Ubique.
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The best thing about the Good Old Days is....

I wasn`t good and I wasn`t old.

DD Whistle Whistle
Ubique.
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Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a Zombie is all the walking......

DD Dodgy Dodgy
Ubique.
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Feeling a bit wicked today, so, I`m going to start a rumour that there is a shortage of jobs. That way everyone will rush out and get one.

DD Tongue Tongue
Ubique.
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In the pub last night, I called the waitress over and told her my steak was bad.

She picked it up, slapped it then put it back on my plate and said "If it gives you anymore trouble, let me know".

DD Blush Blush
Ubique.
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