[talkSAFT]

That's actually worthy of an article in a magazine or paper, Derby. Too good for us on here.... and unpaid. Go for it!

[derbybaggie]

That's actually worthy of an article in a magazine or paper, Derby. Too good for us on here.... and unpaid. Go for it!

https://www.facebook.com/The-Grumpy-Guid..._todo_tour

[Dingle-Dingle]

Aston Villa have offered to reserve 1500 seats at Villa park next season, each home game for NHS workers.

A spokesperson for the NHS said "Haven`t these people suffered enough trauma?""

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Social Isolation day lost count.

I`m beginning to realise why the dog barks and gets excited when someone walks past the window.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

As summer approaches, do we dig out our shorts or cut the bottoms off our PJ`s.??

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I feel like I`m 16 again......

Petrol is cheap.
I can`t legally buy a pint in a pub,
And I`m grounded.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I saw a faith healer once.
Even the guy in the wheelchair thought he was so bad he got up and walked out.

DD

[silverbaggie]

Day 32 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she is my wife. She seems nice.

[derbybaggie]

The Grumpy Guide to Supermarket Shopping under Lockdown

After the initial rush of irresponsible loo paper and hand sanitiser stockpiling (not that I’ve ever purchased any irresponsible loo paper in my life) the regular supermarket shop is getting back to a normality of sorts. That is if normality is queuing for an hour before you can get into Sainsbury’s (there are other supermarket brands available), and then observing the various social distancing guidelines once you get through the doors. To be honest it’s something of an adventure, being limited in the time you can get out and see other humans (from a two metre distance of course) the previous drudgery of the weekly shop is now something to be anticipated with excitement and is very close to the highlight of the week. So like infant school kids overdosing on orange squash at a classmate’s birthday party we made our way down to the local supermarket for our once a week breakout.

Having a professional qualification in Quantity Surveying (QS) has its advantages and disadvantages. On this occasion I’m not sure which, as it created a bit of a dilemma. I notice the black tape to mark where we must stand and await entry is only three paving slabs apart. As every QS knows regular paving slabs are 600 wide. Three multiplied by 600 is 1800 or 1.80m. Or another way of putting it 20 cm below the recommended social distancing guidelines. The shoppers already in front of us are adhering to the black tape. Either they are not Quantity Surveyors, haven’t been browsing paving slab catalogues recently, or maybe just like living on the edge. In the end we plump for standing equidistant between two of the black tape lines a whole 2.7m away from the nearest human on either side and gaining disparaging glances from lady behind who clearly thought we were being too greedy and delaying her entry.

The rest of the queuing passed fairly uneventfully and we get unleashed into the store. This is when it gets interesting, at first you have an aisle or two to yourself and waltz along picking up fruit and veg in relative isolation. Gradually, without even noticing the lady in the queue is hovering behind, she clearly doesn’t do her 5 a day and has breezed through the fruit and veg section with not so much as a Granny Smith To show for it. As you look around other shoppers are all converging and you feel like you’re in the middle of a life size Coronavirus version of Pac-man. Just when you’re going to get overwhelmed a nicely timed cough sends them scurrying off in all directions and you’re safe for the moment until they recover their courage and start stalking you by the time you’ve got to the frozen food section.

Shoppers vary immensely in their C19 approaches. Some will not enter an aisle where another human is browsing, others will wait patiently at the end of the row only to find the browser starts to walk in their direction and they feel the need to make a hasty retreat. A few will just barge their way through, mowing down anyone who gets in the way of them securing the last pack of penne pasta. Others are far more graceful manoeuvring their trolley like the last run in the slalom on Ski Sunday, but of course keeping 2m away from the human marker posts.

All in all it’s an incredible experience and I will never take for granted a supermarket shop ever again.

[Dingle-Dingle]

Social isolation........

Overslept this morning and I was late getting to the living room.

DD