[Dingle-Dingle]

   

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Social isolation.....

Does anyone know if we can take a shower yet or are we still just washing our hands? Asking for a friend.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Social isolation.....

Quarantine day 10.

G/F "Do you want anything to eat"?

Me "What are the choices"?

G/F "Yes or F^&kin no".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Social isolation.....

I`m soooo bored!. I went outside and knocked on my own door. Then came back inside and said "Who is it"?

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Not saying I`m eating too much, but I`m starting to get a tan from the fridge light.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went out yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Colour of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant:
Colour of hair?

Husband:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can’t remember.

Sergeant:
What was she wearing?

Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:
She went in my Audi

Sergeant:
What kind of Audi was it?

Husband: (sobbing)
Audi A6 Avant Black Edition,
Ambient Lighting pack - A6, Front and outer rear heated seats, Valcona leather - Lunar silver + super sport seats, 3 spoke heated sports leather multifunction steering wheel with paddle shift, LED Matrix headlights with high beam assist, Pearlescent paint, Audi drive select, Audi parking system plus with front and rear sensors, Audible and visual fasten seat belt warning - front and rear, Cruise control, Driver's information system, MMI SD card Navigation, Mobile telephone preparation, PAS, Service interval indicator, 3 point seatbelts on all seats, ABS-EBD, ASR traction control, Curtain airbags, Driver and passenger airbags, Driver-front passenger side airbags, Electromechanical parking brake, Electronic stability control, Front passenger airbag deactivation, Hill hold assist, Tyre pressure monitoring system, Warning triangle and first aid kit, Anti theft alarm, Anti-theft wheel bolts, Immobiliser, Keyless Start, Remote central locking, Audi music interface, Auxiliary input socket, DAB digital radio module, MMI Radio plus with CD player and bluetooth interface, SD card slot, USB connection, 12V power in rear centre console, 4 way electric lumbar support, 4 zone climate control, Aluminium door sill trims, Black cloth headlining, Double cargo floor, Electric front seats + driver memory, Front centre armrest, Front head restraints, Front-rear floor mats, Height adjustable front seats, Isofix front passenger and rear seat preparation, Jack and tool kit, Load lashing points, Luggage compartment cover, Luggage rails, Perforated leather gearknob, Rear headrests, Split folding rear seat, Auto dimming rear view mirror, Automatic headlights + automatic windscreen wipers, Body coloured bumpers, Body coloured door mirrors and handles, Body coloured roof spoiler, Door sill trims with S line logo, Electric front-rear windows, Headlight washers, High gloss black door mirrors, High gloss black finish B pillar, High gloss black triangular aperture at rear door, LED daytime running lights, LED rear lights, Light sensor, Platinum grey front lip spoiler, Privacy glass (to rear of B post), Rain sensor, Rear wiper, Alcantara door trim, Piano black finish inlay, Space saver spare wheel, Black Styling pack - A6 Avant, Non smoking pack - A6, Diesel particulate filter

(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)

Sergeant:
Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Audi.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier. If this keeps up I`ll be pouring beer on my cereal.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Social isolation......

Lockdown day 10.

The cat just asked me if I want the TV leaving on whilst he goes out.

DD

[Baggiebob(BBB)]

I'm saving a fortune with the wife not going to the hairdessers.

Also washing my hands so much my toes are saying heh I;m an extrimity why not me?

With so many people wearing masks the police are totally confused after a bank robbery.

Went to the beach today and the police didn't bother i was naked and told me to go back and isolate? Huh!

2 metres they say to stand back from each other, why don't they think I haven't they used arm pit sprays?

My cat is helping by spraying the plants!

Seagulls sprayed the top of my car with shittenhousen so I could go out for some fresh air.

These are top of the head so don't ostrisize me - haha

[Dingle-Dingle]

This really works.......

Think of a number between 0 and 20
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Add 32 to it.
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Multiply by 2
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Subtract 1
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Now close your eyes.
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Dark isn`t it.

DD