[Dingle-Dingle]

Just been in Asda, Saw a fella whose trolley was full to the brim with hand sanitizers, toilet roll, baby wipes, soaps, everything that people need!!

I called him a selfish c**t, I gave him a low down about the elderly and mums etc who need these types of things. Told him he should be f**king ashamed of himself! ??

He said: “that’s all good and well mate but I work here, can I carry on filling the shelves now?”

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.

'What's up?' she asks.

'I think I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband..

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says,

'Mommy! Mommy! Aunty Shirley is hiding in your wardrobe and she's got no clothes on!'

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.

'You rotten 'Bitch', she screams.

'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!'

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My son just asked" Dad, when will this Corona virus thing be over"?

I replied "Shut up and eat your toilet roll".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I see the Italians have put heavily armed soldiers on the streets, in body armour, to combat Covid-19. What are they going to do?? Shoot the virus??

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I just sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on it`s own.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I`ve noticed the News reporting on how many men and women are getting the corona virus. Why arn`t the other 101 genders getting it??

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

“Your waffle iron isn’t working, Son!”
–
“Please just stay away from my laptop grandma!!!”

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

One day, fridges will take their revenge. They will burst into your bedroom in the middle of the night, switch the light on, stare at you for a few minutes and then leave.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Coronavirus Pandemic, day 16.
If anyone is still out there,
I’m alive but struggling. Food is running low. Down to only 459 days worth.
My hands are super sanitized and my butt is super clean.
Down to 7599 rounds of ammo (dropped 1 round down the heat vent while doing daily inventory).
Power still on, but for how long?
Missing human interaction but I have my dogs.. for now.. (I'm soaking their food in BBQ sauce in an attempt to marinate them from the inside in case I have to eat them) .
I fear dark days ahead. News is all bad. Neighbours have attempted to leap from windows to their death, (or near death... most have single story homes so they are badly bruised).
Blew through most Amazon Prime TV series so may have to rewatch some again..
Basic Survival is a definite challenge. I vow to persevere to the end, I am a survivor!

Please, if there is life out there, communicate with me to help preserve my sanity..

DD

[talkSAFT]

Please, if there is life out there, communicate with me to help preserve my sanity..

DD    

The word's restore, DD.

Keep 'em coming, mate. (sane or insane)