[Dingle-Dingle]

Vegetarian is an old Indian word. Originally, it means “a bad hunter”.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I`ve started stockpiling Bidet`s.

I`ll make a fortune when the toilet paper runs out.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I saw an expiration date on a tub anti-aging cream. Now that’s just a scam!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Son: “Am I adopted?”
-
Me: “Not yet, it seems nobody is interested.“

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I fell asleep in the chair earlier, and when i woke up someone had put a teabag in my mouth.

I`m not happy.

I hate being taken for a mug.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Don`t forget the clocks go forward at 2 AM on 29th March.

So we get 1 hour less rain that day.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Even after all these years my G/F still thinks I`m sexy.

Every time I walk past she says "What an ass"..

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I told my boss I needed a raise, and that 3 other companies were after me.

He said "Which companies"?

I replied "Gas, electric and water".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

*****BREAKING NEWS! *****

Sadly news has just reached me saying that the first member of my Facebook friends has sadly died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1500 cans of assorted food, 100kg of pasta, 75kg of rice, 2000 toilet rolls and 300L of hand sanitiser which he had panic bought from Aldi “just in case!”

The whole lot collapsed and buried the silly devil !

DD

[drewks]

I'm giving up drinking for a month.

... sorry, that came out wrong -

I'm giving up.
Drinking for a month.