[Dingle-Dingle]

Little Red Riding Hood walks all alone through the deep dark wood. Suddenly she hears rustling in a thick bush. Cautiously she moves the branches aside and finds herself facing the big bad wolf.

"Oh, Big Bad Wolf, why do you have such huge red eyes?"

-
"Go away! I'm having a crap!"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?
-
Just the Rottweiler.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby.

For instance my name, address and telephone number!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My G/F complained to me: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”

I replied: “Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A grandma and a grandpa are going out for their daily health walk and grandma can’t decide. “I don’t know, Joe, should I wear my bra do you think?”

“Yeah, Rosie, you better, it’s quite muddy out.”

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Ah, the modern days. I just saw a grandpa help a youngster who was staring into his phone to cross the street.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Two farmers are walking down a road when suddenly they’re passed by a headless biker.
Weird, but – well. They continue down the road. After a while they are passed by a headless cyclist.
They walk on for a bit when one says to the other, “Joe, how about you put the scythe over your other shoulder?”

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people.

Then the grenade exploded.

DD