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Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

DD Laughing Laughing Laughing
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A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

DD Flashing Flashing Flashing
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Where does Jona Lewie do his Xmas shopping?

Debenebenhamhams
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Debenhams
Debenebenhams

Debenebenhamhams
Debenebenhams
Debenhamhams
Debenhams
Debenebenhams

DD Walking Walking Walking
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(24-12-2019, 20:04)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: Where does Jona Lewie do his Xmas shopping?

Debenebenhamhams
Debenebenhams
Debenhamhams
Debenhams
Debenebenhams

Debenebenhamhams
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Debenebenhams

DD  Walking  Walking  Walking

You guys have no sense of humour....... DD Sick Sick
derbybaggie likes this post
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Merry Christmas.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use - I've forgotten my name!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah partridge in a pear tree!

DD Merry Christmas to all our readers. Walking Laughing Flashing Hohoho
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My friend Dave asked me where I see myself in the new year.

How would I know? I don’t have 2020 vision.

DD Laugh Laugh

Cliff Richard and Bing Crosby in a pub....

Cliff "How`s it going Bing"?

Bing " Not too good, my artificial arse implant has gone flat".

Cliff "You can borrow my Rubber Bum Pump"

Bing "Rubber Bum Pump"?

Cliff "Rubber Bum Pump".

Now get that song out of your head.....

DD Walking Laughing Flashing Hohoho
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So Boxing Day, its a magical time of year,
when companies send you amazing emails with pictures of all the stuff you just brought from them, at half price.

DD Rolleyes Rolleyes

A Dingle walks into a bar and says, "Happy New Year, everybody."

The bartender says to him, "We're in the middle of June, you drunken fool."

The Dingle says, "Oh my God, my wife is going to kill me! I've never been so late in all my life!"

DD Laugh Laugh
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Just heard that in 2020 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it's called alcohol.

DD Big Grin Big Grin
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Q: What does it mean if you were born in September?
A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!

DD Whistle Whistle
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My G/F still hasn't told me what my New Year's resolutions are.

DD Huh Huh
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