[Dingle-Dingle]

I`ve accidently booked myself onto an escapology course.

I`m struggling to get out of it.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

If Watson isn`t the most famous Doctor in the world, then Who is??

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy? I hear you ask.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Huge respect to the travelling Villa fans today. Holding a 90 minute silence was incredibly respectful from them.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Tesco`s is putting vodka up a penny tomorrow to £20 a bottle,

So tonight I`m going to party like it`s £19.99

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do.

Just look at Beethoven.
Everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf.

But did he listen??

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Are people who are afraid of Father Christmas Claustrophobic??

DD

[Salopbaggie]

I was sitting in McDonald's the other day when an old man came in with his wife, he went up and placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them
As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.
The old man said, they were just fine - we are used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.
She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had not eaten single bite of food and asked 'Why aren't you eating, what is it you are waiting for?'
The teeth, She answered

[Dingle-Dingle]

My G/F says I`m tight.

So to prove her wrong I took her out for some tea and biscuits.

It was quite exciting as she`s never given blood before.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathise with it??

DD