Thread Rating:
The Off Topic Thread
(04-12-2014, 21:46)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: Richard Branson has had his offer to sponsor West Brom declined .
In a club statement , a spokesman said " We feel it would not be appropriate to wear 'Virgin' on our shirts as we're getting fukced every week !"

DD  Whistle  Whistle

OTT Thumb down Thumb down
BBB likes this post
2x Premier League Champ 1x Championship Winner and World cup Winner
Reply
I said to the G/F the other day 'I'm off to the pub to watch The Baggies play'
She said 'you love them Baggies more than you love me'
I said 'I fukin love Wolves more than i love you!'

DD Big Grin Big Grin
Ubique.
Reply
My G/F`s Xmas shopping addiction is getting out of control.

I came home from work and found a naked man in the wardrobe.

She'll fukcing buy anything!

DD Tongue Tongue
Ubique.
Reply
Ahh.... Liverpool
The only city in the UK where JD sports has a men's evening wear department...

   

DD Cool Cool
Ubique.
Reply
I was sitting on a train across from a blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.
Despite my efforts, I was unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs.
To my delight I realized she was a bit of a show off.
She saw Me staring and inquired, "Are you looking at my vagina?"
"Yes, Im sorry," I replied and promised to avert my eyes.
"Its quite all right," she replied, "Its very talented, watch this, Ill make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the vagina blew me a kiss.
I was completely astounded and inquired what else it could do.
"I can also make it wink," she replied. I stared in amazement as the vagina winked at me.
"Come and sit next to me," she said, patting the seat. I moved over and she asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

Stunned, I asked, "Youre shittin' me, you mean it can whistle, too"!?

DD Whistle Whistle http://i34.tinypic.com/auv6lk.jpg
Ubique.
Reply
I was talking to my G/F the other day about reincarnation.

She asked, "What actually is reincarnation?"

I said to her, "Well, it's when you die and come back as something completely different."

"So, I could come back as a pig?!" she exclaimed.

I said, "You're not listening are you...?"

DD LaughingLaughing
betterthanbaird likes this post
Ubique.
Reply
Little Johnny arrives home to find his mother and father having sex.
“Whatcha doin’ Dad?”
“We’re playing Crib, and your mother’s my partner. Get downstairs.”
Little Johnny goes downstairs to the living-room to find his sister and boyfriend on the sofa deeply engrossed in sexual intercourse.
“Whatcha doin’ Sis’?”
“We’re playing crib, and my boyfriend’s my partner. Get outside.
Little Johnny goes out to the garden shed, where he finds his Grandfather masturbating.
“Whatcha doin’ Grandpa?”
“I’m playing crib.” Replies Grandpa.
“Where’s your partner?”
His grandfather replies,
“When you’ve got a good hand, you don’t need a fcukin' partner!”

DD Laugh Laugh
Ubique.
Reply
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

DD Dodgy Dodgy
Ubique.
Reply
(09-12-2014, 03:07)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

DD  Dodgy  Dodgy

caused soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists without any weapons.
Reply
On Monday I received a packet of Ritz biscuits in the post with a note attached;
'THIS HAS BEEN UP MY MINGE!'

Tuesday was a packet of water biscuits, again with the same message;
'THIS HAS BEEN UP MY MINGE!'

And Wednesday a packet of Jacob's with the same message;
'THIS HAS BEEN UP MY MINGE!'

I don't know who it is but they're sending me fc uking crackers.

DD Rolleyes Rolleyes
Ubique.
Reply
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 376 Guest(s)