[Dingle-Dingle]

My friend keeps saying "Cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water".

I know he means well.....

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

With the amount of snow forecast, parents are being advised to wear an extra pair of pyjamas during the school run this week.. DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Diwrnod dewi sant DD

[talkSAFT]

Diwrnod dewi sant DD    

Diolch, Glyn-Glyn

[Dingle-Dingle]

It's been snowing all night. So the morning goes like this;

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 The nanny of the neighbours complained about the snow woman's
voluptuous chest.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two
snowmen instead.

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose,
as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a
headscarf.

8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what's going on.

8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed
because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter
: "Certainly, if it's up your a***"

8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the
difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am
called a sexist.

8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being handcuffed
and taken to the police station in a marked van.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble
during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.

9:29 A little-known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live
today!

DD

[silverbaggie]

DD many a true word spoken in jest. All that's missing now are the thought police.

[St Charles Owl]

DD many a true word spoken in jest. All that's missing now are the thought police.  

You telling me he is joking?? If I had lived in an area with snow and had built snowman I would have crushed the bastard with a shovel after reading DDs post before I too ended up in jail!!

Comedy should always be close to the bone, its something the Yanks never understood and their humor is sanitized as a consequence. I still watch British comedy whenever I can so that I actually laugh at something rather than just a smile or chuckle!!

[Dingle-Dingle]

A rather ‘frustrated’ Mrs Beef went to the supermarket to try to take her mind off her overly erotic thoughts.

As she moved through the aisles she saw bananas, apples and so many things that made her recall rather than forget her erotic mood.
She ended up buying far more than she needed.

When she arrived at the checkout there was a young man packing bags.

As he packed her bags his muscles gleamed under the fluorescent lights and she could make out the contours of his fit body under his tight T-shirt and trousers.
She could hardly control herself.
After she had paid she asked the young man if he could help her to her car with her many heavy bags of groceries.
The young man willingly obliged.

As they walked through the carpark Mrs Beef finally lost control. She placed her hand on the young man’s bum and said “I have an itchy pussy”.

To which the young man replied ...

“You’ll have to show me where it is, all these Japanese cars look the same to me”. !!!

DD

[talkSAFT]

How's the weather in WM?

We're hopefully driving up Sunday (from Cornwall) and staying for the Leicester game next week. It would have been impossible yesterday, but it's thawed a bit today. Don't know whether to delay a couple of days and come up Tuesday.



ps St.Charles: "humor" is spelt "humour" in the country of its origin!

[4evaabaggie]

Talksaft, technically SCO is correct, the yanks don't understand our HUMOUR so their HUMOR requires canned laughter to show you when to laugh.

With America producing most of the film, tv, computer software and popular entertainment they seem to favour themselves, their lazy spelling of English gets accepted as the norm, their interpretation of history, like the vile, becomes twisted. America defeated the Roman empire, America defeated King Harold at battle in 1066, America did everything in WW1 and WW2, we were not even there ...... but that's changing the subject.