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Zoltan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euK_vTOivP8
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(20-09-2017, 09:54)kzs10 Wrote: Zoltan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euK_vTOivP8

Legend!
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with
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There's a new magazine for gay military members….It's mainly just photos of Privates.

DD Big Grin Big Grin
Ubique.
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Talking of mistaken identities.

My mate David had his ID stolen the other day.
Now we just call him Dav.

DD Angel Angel
Ubique.
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I don`t care how nice the hand soap smells. Don`t ever walk out of the toilets smelling your fingers.......

DD Sad Sad
Ubique.
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I’ve just released my own fragrance. But nobody on this bus seems to like it tho.

DATING a Dominatrix? Be very careful when you tell her it’s time to hit the sack.

Weather forecasters: ensure people actually evacuate the area about to be hit by hurricanes by giving the hurricane a sensible and awe-inspiring name like Hurricane Death-Bastard 3000

No one has more to say than the woman who says she doesn't want to talk about it.

If I were a cannibal I'd only eat vegetarians, just for the irony...

DD Big Grin Big Grin
Ubique.
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A recent survey says that 28% of women say oral sex isn't actually sex. The same survey shows that 100% of blokes are very interested in proving those women are right.

DD Rolleyes Rolleyes
Ubique.
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Why did the MP cross the road?

No-one knows but he claimed £80 expenses for it.

DD Angry Angry
Ubique.
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(24-09-2017, 12:48)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: Why did the MP cross the road?

No-one knows but he claimed £80 expenses for it.

DD  Angry  Angry

DD, that's scandalous ......... he could have claimed £250 if he took a taxi
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A Frenchman, an Italian and an Englishman are sitting next to each other on a long haul flight.
After a few cocktails the men begin discussing their home lives.

“Last night” said the Frenchman,” I made love to my wife four times and, this morning she made me delicious crepes for my breakfast and, she told me how much she adored me”.
“Ah last night” said the Italian, “I made love to my wife six times and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and said that she could never love another man”

“And what about you?” the Frenchman smugly asked the Englishman, “How many times did you make love to your wife last night?”
“Just once”, replied the Englishman.
“Only once” laughed the Italian, “and what did she say to you this morning?”
“Don’t stop”, said the Englishman. Whistle
Some days I'm top dog, most days I'm just the lamp post.
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