[Dingle-Dingle]

   

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

In Holland sex and drug`s are readily available on the high st, often from the same place.

Imagine how disappointed Dutch visitors to the UK must be when they walk into their first branch of ScrewFix.

DD

[silverbaggie]

Yesterday scientists in Canada announced that following extensive research they are now certain that beer contains small measures of a hormone normally only found in women.

To prove the original theory they gave each of their 100 male volunteers 12 pints of beer.

The scientists observed that 100% of the men started talking nonsense and also lost the ability to drive.

[Dingle-Dingle]

I got chatting to a girl in a club, "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked.

"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends."

"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please."

A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love. While I was putting my clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"

I said, "My wife found out."

DD

[silverbaggie]

A Scotsman and an American were talking about the game of golf.

The American said, “In most parts of the US we can’t play the game in winter. We have to wait until the spring”.

“Och ye big softies” replied the Scot, “surely ye can play if ye put a will to it? We dinna let the snow and cold fess us”

The Yank looked doubtful “Well what do you do” he said, “paint your balls black”?

“No” replied the surprised Scot, ”We’ll just put on a thick pair of thermal troosers”.

[drewks]

Hey, what's going on - others posting on DD's thread??

[Dingle-Dingle]

The Ministry of Defence Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the vehicle suppliers of all Armed Forces vehicles for the past 30 years.
Under this plan the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive, staff cars, tanks, AVREs, trucks, plant and all other vehicles in an effort to determine, in all accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find that in all incidents the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of crashes were, "Oh Shit!"
It was only the ones involving Royal Engineers personnel in which the last words were different.
In these cases 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer, I'm going to try something’!"

DD Ubique.

[Dingle-Dingle]

I wish the bank`s would put more money in their cash machine`s.

This is the tenth one I`ve been to today that`s got "Insufficient Funds".

DD

[Salopbaggie]

Did you hear the one about the 20,000 Baggies who were told, they were going to get 5 new signings in the next 43 hours

[silverbaggie]

Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that an innuendo was an Italian suppository?