[silverbaggie]

A 7 year-old boy and his 4 year-old brother are in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 7 year-old, "I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you."

"Okay," replies the 4 year-old.

In the kitchen, when the mother asks the 7 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he answers, "I'll have Coco Pops, you bloody bitch." *WHACK*
He goes flying out of his chair, crying his eyes out.

The mother looks at the 4 year-old & sternly asks, "And what do you want?"

"Dunno," he replies, "But it won't be f**king Coco Pops."

[Dingle-Dingle]

Imagine Abbot and Corbyn in a lift......

She doesn`t know the floor number..

And he won`t press the button.

DD

[silverbaggie]

You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Dearest, lets run upstairs and make love,"

and you answer, "I can't do both."

[Dingle-Dingle]

A little girl asked her dad, "do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time?"

Her dad replied, 'No, some begin with - If I am elected'

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

After 12 attempts my G/F finally passed her driving test.
I asked her what I could get her as a celebration gift.
"Just something cheap to run around in". she said.
So I bought her a pair of trainers from LIDL.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.
After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.

DD

[silverbaggie]

Q)   How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?

A)   When she can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.

[Dingle-Dingle]

On top of it all, just heard Diane Abbott on the radio, she stated she had retained her seat with 300% of the vote!!!

DD

[silverbaggie]

On top of it all, just heard Diane Abbott on the radio, she stated she had retained her seat with 300% of the vote!!!

DD    

Many a true word spoken in jest!!!

[Salopbaggie]

Looks like we'll be sending Brussels the Conservative and Unionist Negotiating Team. I hope they can come up with a handy acronym.