[silverbaggie]

A young blonde rushes into a library and came up to the librarian & yelled, "This book sucks!

The Librarian asked "Why?"

The Blonde said "There's far too many characters in it & the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

[BaggieMan]

Thoughts, prayers and deep condolences to the victims, families and people of Manchester following the appallingly cowardly attack last night on young people enjoying a night out at the Manchester Arena.

It brings football into perspective and makes one wonder how anyone can be so depraved to commit this atrocity.

RIP

[4evaabaggie]

Thoughts and prayers to all the family and friends of the dead and injured. Hope your suffering eases.

[Dingle-Dingle]

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he can avoid the wife, G/F for a whole weekend.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

How does Dolly Parton get home from a night out?

   

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Now that the football season is over, I suppose I`d better talk to the G/F.

I wonder what she`s been up to for the last nine months.

DD

[4evaabaggie]

After Jeremy Corbyns speech today about the war on terror, the Labour party rework their anthem, "we'll keep the white flag flying here"

[silverbaggie]

A farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep under his arm.
He walks over to where his wife is laying in bed. "See!" he yells, "This is the pig I have to have sex with whenever you get one of your headaches!"

The wife laughs and says, "You know that's a sheep under your arm, don't you?"

The farmer says, "I wasn't talking to you"

[silverbaggie]

Out walking the other day I saw two Chinese girls coming towards me. One was really attractive so I asked for her telephone number.

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"

Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

[Dingle-Dingle]

My G/F said she wanted to walk down the aisle.

So I sent her to ASDA for a case of beer.

DD