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The Off Topic Thread
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10-03-2017, 09:37
Hands trembling, I checked the numbers again -9-15 21-04 20-17....
I simply couldn't believe it, after all these years of trying I'd finally done it.. I'd got a doctors appointment. DD 
Ubique.
10-03-2017, 11:57
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied... "Well your Honour, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..I just lost it. "CASE DISMISSED!!" DD
Ubique.
10-03-2017, 13:35
Well that`s International women`s day over for another year.
It should have been Monday but it took them 2 days to get ready. DD
Ubique.
10-03-2017, 15:42
My blind Korean neighbour must be the unluckiest person on the planet. It`s only the begining of March and he`s already lost 4 guide dogs this year.
DD 
Ubique.
10-03-2017, 18:52
The G/F just asked, “What’s that pile of clothes doing on the bedroom floor?”
I said, “It’s a dead Jedi stupid.” DD
Ubique.
10-03-2017, 21:04
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse first, and that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
DD
Ubique.
11-03-2017, 17:55
I, for one, would take more notice of feminists if they put a nice dress on and wore a bit of make up.
DD
Ubique.
12-03-2017, 02:50
(This post was last modified: 12-03-2017, 02:51 by Dingle-Dingle.
Edit Reason: Can`t spell
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A Roadrunners top speed is 20 MPH, while Coyote`s can reach speeds of up to 43 MPH.
It seems my childhood was one big lie!! DD
Ubique.
13-03-2017, 01:05
I went hunting rabbits this morning,shot 2 in the head and 1 in the leg.
Everyone in the petshop went mental. DD
Ubique.
13-03-2017, 21:44
To the admin/s of this group;
Can you please try to have a little more control over who you let in. There is a new member. Who has been privately propositioning members. They send pictures of themselves in grotesque poses along with close ups of their genitals. They are offering an iPhone 7 in exchange for sexual favors. I am especially upset at this last part because, as it turns out the phone wasn't even an iPhone 7. It was a 6!!! And it obviously has a virus because it's ridiculously slow and on top of that, the power button sticks! Please take care of this problem! DD
Ubique.
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