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20 years together and the G/F still gets upset if I use her toothbrush.......
So if anyone knows of a better way to get dog muck out of my trainer soles.......
I`m all ears. DD
Ubique.
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If a tree falls on your G/F in the middle of the forest and no one hear`s it, you should still get rid of the chainsaw........
Just in case. DD
Ubique.
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If you use your mobile phone and drive, as of today you`ll end up with more points on your licence than Liverpool F C got throughout February........ SIX.
DD
Ubique.
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Apparently there`s free ear piercing in my local pub tonight.
But they usually call it Ladies dart night.
DD
Ubique.
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I went on a blind date last night, we were getting on really well, so I asked where she worked.
She replied "At the supermarket"
"Co-operative"? I asked.
She said... " Well I might be after a couple of vodka`s you smooth talking devil".
DD
Ubique.
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Two Wolves fans are on holiday in Amsterdam and visit a brothel.
"Have you got a fat, ginger bird with no teeth, a heroin addiction and an arse like a vandalised bus seat?" they ask.
"You boys are really kinky," says the madam.
"Are we like heck!" they reply. "We're looking for our mum."!!!
DD
Ubique.
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I phoned my Boss this morning and said... "I`m not coming in to work today as the G/F is in bed, throwing up and hasn`t ironed my kit."
He said "That`s a shit excuse.!"
I replied "I know, but you try telling her that.!"
DD
Ubique.
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Today marks 6 weeks without any sugar. Running 3 miles each day before breakfast. I've stopped eating meat, dairy, flour too. No caffeine. The change in my body has already been fantastic! I feel great! Zero alcohol! Eating a healthy diet that is completely vegan, gluten-free, caffeine-free and sugar-free. And working out for 2 hours every day! I have lost a lot of fat and gained muscle mass!
I don't know whose status this is, but I was really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste!
DD
Ubique.
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My girlfriend has just come back from a ballooning holiday.
She's put on 2 fing stone!
DD
Ubique.
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