[themaclad]

I used to have a fear of Horse Chesnut trees but I've been able to conquer it now

[4evaabaggie]

The CEO of KP snacks was arrested for public order offences in Tesco yesterday, eye witnesses said he just went nuts.

---

The CEO of Dyson is climbing the Forbes rich list, he is really cleaning up.

[themaclad]

Went to the doctors yesterday, told him I was hearing voices in my underwear, he said ignore them they are just talking bollocks

[Dingle-Dingle]

Strange sort of day it's been,seems to have been longer than others.....>>>>>

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My G/F treats me like a God.

She only talks to me when she want`s something.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Just been watching the news and apparently police are holding three men over a fire in West London...

Bit harsh, I wonder what they've done.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I was sitting outside in the afternoon enjoying the last bit of sunshine before the winter when my girlfriend asked me what I was doing.
I replied, "Nothing ~ I'm doing nothing".
She glared at me as only a woman can and said, with an element of anger obvious in her tone, "You were doing nothing yesterday"!
I said, "Yeh, I know ~ I haven't finished"!!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Chris Eubank has just wrtten a book about Ethics.

If it`s a success his next one will be about Kent.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Laid in bed facing the G/F, I looked into her eyes and said "Looking at your face reminds me of the lottery",

She replied " You mean it`s because I`m worth Millions?"

I said " No I wish you`d rollover!"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

If you`re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas......

Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

DD