Thread Rating:
The Off Topic Thread
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,801
01-04-2020, 12:37
Social isolation.....

Day 12.

The dog just looked at me, smiled and said, "Now you know why I chew the furniture".

DD Dodgy Dodgy
Ubique.
Find
Reply
Salopbaggie Offline
They Can't Score, If You Have The Ball
*****
Posts: 2,203
Threads: 155
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 2
#2,802
01-04-2020, 13:18
So... I have just seen a news report about the stresses & strains of self isolation. reporting that people are going crazy from being in lock down!

It was strange, actually, because I had just been talking about this with the microwave & toaster & we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she always has to put a different spin on everything & certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold & distant. In the end the iron calmed me down. She said everything will be fine, which surprised me because she’s usually the first one to apply unnecessary pressure & get steamed up over nothing !!!

I think she might have been sneaking off to the medicine cabinet.
Find
Reply
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,803
01-04-2020, 19:07
Stood on my bathroom scales this morning and they said "Please use social distancing, one person at a time."

DD Doh Doh
Ubique.
Find
Reply
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,804
01-04-2020, 20:09
Just booked my summer holiday. Costa del Backyard here we come.

DD Sick Sick
Ubique.
Find
Reply
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,805
01-04-2020, 22:44
My G/F yelled from upstairs and asked "Do you ever get a shooting pain through your body, like someone has a Voodoo doll of you and they are stabbing it"?

Sounding concerned i replied "No..."

"How about now"? She said.

DD Whistle Whistle
drewks likes this post
Ubique.
Find
Reply
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,806
02-04-2020, 10:39
When this crisis is over, if you had to choose between going on a bender with the lads or taking your partner out for a romantic dinner.....

Which pub would you meet your mates in??

DD Blush Blush
Ubique.
Find
Reply
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,807
02-04-2020, 12:32
The Eastern Europe Council of Great Britain is to lobby Parliament to subsidise it`s members during the Covid crisis.

A spokesperson said. "A large proportion of our people have suffered a massive income drop during this outbreak. It`s very hard to pick a pocket from 2 metres.

DD Angel Angel
Ubique.
Find
Reply
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,808
02-04-2020, 18:58
Heard a commotion in the street earlier. Armed police had surrounded my neighbours house.
The negotiator was there with his megaphone telling them to come out with their hands washed.

DD Doh Doh
Ubique.
Find
Reply
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,809
02-04-2020, 20:36
My neighbour with the big boobs has been walking up and down the garden topless all day.

I just wish his wife would do the same.

DD Whistle Whistle
Ubique.
Find
Reply
Dingle-Dingle Offline
Pensioner.
*****
Posts: 5,456
Threads: 69
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 6
#2,810
03-04-2020, 12:03
Just seen a burglar kicking his own front door in. I asked "What you doing"?

He replied "Working from home".

DD Sick Sick
Ubique.
Find
Reply
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 377 Guest(s)