02-04-2018, 13:40
Wrongfoot someone on Sportsbabble by liking their comment when they call you a twat.
Cause absolute xxxx chaos at your next Hokey Cokey Dance Meeting by putting your left leg "out" first
Wasps don't go away when you tell them to 'xxxx Off', so save your breath
When I BBQ meat on the grill, I like to marinate it in a brine made with tears of a thousand Vegans.
Advertisers: Nobody wants to hear the term "Vaginal Dryness" at the best of times, certainly not during family breakfast, causing the panicky avoidance of questions from my 7 year old child.
If you buy that face cream that combats the 7 signs of ageing expecting it to stop you shitting the bed and mindlessly arseing about with your wheelie bins at all hours of the day and night you will be severely disappointed.
"Yoko. Oh no!". Exclamation of deep despair, oft heard by groups of lads in any local pub across the length and breadth of the country when, upon looking forward to an evening of fart jokes, casual sexism and drinking themselves insensible, they spot their mate walking through the door with the fun-extractor in tow.
I don't see the point in threesomes when it's just another woman to disappoint.
What is the difference between a Comma and a Cat? A comma is a pause at end of clause and a cat has claws at the end of its Oh FFS, that’s pathetic!
All you Scottish students crying over their exam results. Rab C Nesbitt seems perfectly happy with his lot and he's never passed a xxxx exam in his life.
Want to smile all day? Get in the shower before your wife and use the bar of soap to wash your arse last.
Get the day off work by discovering a body in the park while out with your dogs. This is far easier than you think if you live in Wolverhampton.
ALCOHOLICS: You can get another £30 per week if you get a dog, and you can get a dog pissed for less than a pound a day. Quids in.
Post Brexit, a gnat's todger will be instated as an official unit of Imperial measurement.
Due to political correctness it is no longer acceptable to call anyone a homosexual. From now on gay men must be referred to as analysts.
ALCOHOL makes an ideal substitute for happiness
I'm always the first one to say "I love you" in a gangbang.
Wearing cotton socks will ensure you will constantly be blessed.
When next visiting your local Chinese takeaway put a colander on your head and pull the skin tight around your eyes whilst singing the Ying Tong song, they will be in fits of laughter but be careful, after the first few times I could hear the cook laughing so hard in the kitchen that he went into a coughing fit and hocked up all sorts of phlegm which only stopped when he brought out my Chicken Chow Mein poor chap.
DD
Cause absolute xxxx chaos at your next Hokey Cokey Dance Meeting by putting your left leg "out" first
Wasps don't go away when you tell them to 'xxxx Off', so save your breath
When I BBQ meat on the grill, I like to marinate it in a brine made with tears of a thousand Vegans.
Advertisers: Nobody wants to hear the term "Vaginal Dryness" at the best of times, certainly not during family breakfast, causing the panicky avoidance of questions from my 7 year old child.
If you buy that face cream that combats the 7 signs of ageing expecting it to stop you shitting the bed and mindlessly arseing about with your wheelie bins at all hours of the day and night you will be severely disappointed.
"Yoko. Oh no!". Exclamation of deep despair, oft heard by groups of lads in any local pub across the length and breadth of the country when, upon looking forward to an evening of fart jokes, casual sexism and drinking themselves insensible, they spot their mate walking through the door with the fun-extractor in tow.
I don't see the point in threesomes when it's just another woman to disappoint.
What is the difference between a Comma and a Cat? A comma is a pause at end of clause and a cat has claws at the end of its Oh FFS, that’s pathetic!
All you Scottish students crying over their exam results. Rab C Nesbitt seems perfectly happy with his lot and he's never passed a xxxx exam in his life.
Want to smile all day? Get in the shower before your wife and use the bar of soap to wash your arse last.
Get the day off work by discovering a body in the park while out with your dogs. This is far easier than you think if you live in Wolverhampton.
ALCOHOLICS: You can get another £30 per week if you get a dog, and you can get a dog pissed for less than a pound a day. Quids in.
Post Brexit, a gnat's todger will be instated as an official unit of Imperial measurement.
Due to political correctness it is no longer acceptable to call anyone a homosexual. From now on gay men must be referred to as analysts.
ALCOHOL makes an ideal substitute for happiness
I'm always the first one to say "I love you" in a gangbang.
Wearing cotton socks will ensure you will constantly be blessed.
When next visiting your local Chinese takeaway put a colander on your head and pull the skin tight around your eyes whilst singing the Ying Tong song, they will be in fits of laughter but be careful, after the first few times I could hear the cook laughing so hard in the kitchen that he went into a coughing fit and hocked up all sorts of phlegm which only stopped when he brought out my Chicken Chow Mein poor chap.
DD
Ubique.
