[Dingle-Dingle]

I fell down a really deep dark hole today.

I couldn`t see that well.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Was a bit peckish today and being flush I went into Subway and asked for the most expensive sub......... I walked out with Benteke. DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I taught my dog to play the trumpet on London's underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in an hour .

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Look what i just found in the attic. Think my Grandad used to be an electrician in the army.

   

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

The reason Rump roast is called Rump roast is because............

Nobody would eat it if it was called Cow`s ASS!!.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him.
"What'll you have?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.
So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.
"Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered.
"I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband.
"And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

The hardest part about beginning a new relationship is........

Learning how to fart quietly again.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

First rule of Cuddle Club.......

It better lead to sex or you`re out of Cuddle Club.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A woman goes to a Gynocologist and says, "Dr. I´ve got a terrible itch between my toes."
The Dr. says, "Madam, I am a Gynocologist, not a Podiatrist, but i´ll examine you anyway. Now exactly between which toes does it itch?"
The woman says, "Between the 2 big one´s!"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My Boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick,

Especially as it`s Steve.

DD