[struth]

Top Class DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"

The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"

...

The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords."

DD It`s ok The ex was Irish.

[Dingle-Dingle]

My best mate died last week after an overdose of viagara. His wife took it very hard.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Stolen from my Cuz. But I agree wholeheartedly.

Xfactor just turned come on eileen into GLEE.....xfactor is ruinin all the classics.....why does simon cowell own my telly.....i hate louis walsh....mel b is a man...an cheryl is just eye candy....an nobody ever remembers who wins........bring back oppertunity knocks........

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I went out to do the Shopping for the G/F yesterday but it was so windy I got blown into the nearest Pub till closing time.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Was fed up with being single so last week I put an Ad in the paper saying, "Looking for the wife for my life".
Next day my letterbox was chock-a-block with answers, but all from guys saying, "`Ere tek mine, I´ll even give you £50 on top mate!"

DD

[talkSAFT]

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"

The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"

...

The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords."

DD      It`s ok The ex was Irish.

Keep 'em coming, DD.

[Dingle-Dingle]

A fat, ugly woman with 2 screaming Kids in Asda once asked me if I could help her out.........
I said "certainly, which way did you come in............."

DD

[BaggieMan]

free screen capture software

Even my old mum wouldn't have gone to ground like Moses did.  He's been watching Ashley Young and Tom Daly too much !

[Dingle-Dingle]

A lion was in its enclosure at Dudley zoo, basking in the sun and licking its bum.
"That's a very docile animal," a visitor remarks to the keeper.
"Not at all" says the keeper, "that lion is the most ferocious beast in the entire zoo. Just one hour ago, the lion grabbed a dirty Dingle supporter, sadistically toyed with him at length and then completely devoured him.
"That's difficult to believe," said the bewildered visitor, "why is he just sitting there ignoring us and licking its arse then?"
"Poor bastard is trying to get the taste out of his mouth"
replied the keeper.

DD