[Dingle-Dingle]

An Englishman walks into a bar.......

There`s usually a Scotsman, A welsh man and an Irish man... But they are all still at the Rugby World Cup.

DD    

An Englisman, Irishman, Welshman and a Scot walk into a bar. Normal service resumed. Unlucky Scotland. DD  

[talkSAFT]

Unlucky they were. That ref cost them a great victory.

[Dingle-Dingle]

Naughty Naughty....... Not one of mine.
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I had to get a Visa last week to gain entry into Jordan.

I prefer the good old days when she accepted cash.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Some days ..... Even the Devil sits back and admires my work. DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A woman and her boyfriend are in a bar having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it the more excited she gets and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and let's her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar: a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.
The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains, "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth and finally you drink the lime juice."
So the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue - salty but okay. He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks - this is okay. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it...
At one second the sharp lime taste hits, at two seconds the Baileys curdles, at three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits. This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.
When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend. She smiles widely at him and says, "So, how did you like it? It's called 'Blow Job's Revenge'."

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A Vicar was making a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine.
As he was pounding away, he noticed that a little boy was watching him.
The youngster did not say a word, so the Vicar kept working. He was sure the lad would soon leave but he didn't.
Pleased at the thought that his work was being admired, the Vicar finally said, "Well, son, trying to pick up some pointers on carpentry work?"
"Nope. I'm just waiting to hear what a Vicar says when he hits his thumb with a hammer."

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I asked my long time G/F "What would you do if I won the lottery"??

She Said "I`d take half your winnings and leave you".

I said "Good. I won £25. Heres £12.50p now get lost".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A Dingle woman on a rather rough Wolverhampton Council estate phoned the council , as her lavatory would not flush .
Duly a young man arrived at the front door in a Council van .
A very polite young man ..
'Good morning madam ' he said cheerfully. 'I believe that your ablutions are malfunctioning/'
She looked at the young man and said 'Can't you speak English?'
The young man was somewhat taken aback . So he took the Bull by the horns.
'I believe you have a shitter that won't work?' he said
She looked at him and replied 'Oh yeah ! He's in the front room watching the Football . Do you want to see him?'

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I suppose that`s one way to decsribe him!!!!!

   

DD

[Arcane Astral Aeons]

hope DD don`t mind me gatecrashing his own private thread
(some of the stuff you post is hilarious by the way DD keep it up)

The New Iron Maiden Album(If anyone listens to them) Effing awesome
shame no bloody UK tour

back to you DD