[Dingle-Dingle]

I said to the G/F "You should embrace your mistakes".

She hugged me.

DD #No1

[Dingle-Dingle]

I`m in two minds whether I`m a schizophrenic or not.

DD#No1

[Dingle-Dingle]

Does a one legged duck swim in circles??

DD#No1

[Dingle-Dingle]

*** Breaking News ***

Mr Kipling driver forced to make emergency stop on motorway.

He said "Fortunatly the lorry had exceedingly good brakes"

DD #No1

[Dingle-Dingle]

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches.

It doesn`t, it just shits on the floor.

DD#No1

[Dingle-Dingle]

If you are here for the yodelling lesson,

please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

DD#No1

[Dingle-Dingle]

I was in the shed throwing darts at a picture of the G/F pinned to the wall and try as I might I couldn`t hit the target.
She called out through the kitchen window "watcha doin"?

"Missing you" I replied.

DD#No1

[Salopbaggie]

I've just been thrown out of the theatre for continually heckling and booing.

The surgeon says he's never letting me back in again.

[Dingle-Dingle]

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house taking a bath when all of a sudden I felt a tap on my shoulder.

DD#No1

[Dingle-Dingle]

I once lived just a stone`s throw away from a family who all died of mysterious head injuries.

DD#No1