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Dingle-Dingle Offline
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#3,501
15-04-2022, 10:18
My Doctor has diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation.

I`m worried shitless.

DD #No1 Tongue Tongue
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#3,502
16-04-2022, 09:56
Posed nude for an art class last night.

They didn`t ask me to, I think they were making ceramic bowls.

DD #No1 Big Grin Big Grin
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#3,503
17-04-2022, 19:20
Don`t you just hate it when you clean out your freezer and find prople you don`t even recognise....

DD Sick Sick
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#3,504
19-04-2022, 22:22
When I was young I was poor, but after many years hard work.....

I`m no longer young.

DD Whistle Whistle
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#3,505
21-04-2022, 23:51
SKY BREAKING NEWS …


Manchester United can confirm that following a scan - Paul Pogba has suffered a badly twisted sock and will miss the rest of the season.
He may fly out to Dubai or the USA to get it ironed out.

DD Big Grin Big Grin
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drewks Offline
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#3,506
23-04-2022, 16:37
They said I'd never be any good at poetry because I'm dyslexic, but I've made 2 jugs and a vase so far and they're great! ?
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#3,507
24-04-2022, 13:43
I walked down to my local paint shop to get thinner....

It didn`t work.

DD Doh Doh
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#3,508
24-04-2022, 21:41
Now that Scunthorpe United have been relegated from the English Football League there’s now only Two Clubs left with hidden rude words in their name.

Arsenal and xxxx Wolves.

DD #No1 Angel Angel
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#3,509
01-05-2022, 17:41
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

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#3,510
03-05-2022, 11:49
One day when Jesus was relaxing in Heaven, He happened to notice a familiar-looking old man.

Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, "Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?"

"Yes," said the old man, "but he wasn't my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens."

"Very interesting," said Jesus. "Did this boy ever have to fight temptation?"

"Oh, yes, many times," answered the old man. "But he eventually won. Unfortunately, he heroically died at one point, but he came back to life shortly afterwards."

Jesus couldn't believe it. Could this actually be His father?

"One last question," He said. "Were you a carpenter?"

"Why yes," replied the old man. "Yes I was."

Jesus rubbed His eyes and said, "Dad?"

The old man rubbed his eyes and said, "Pinocchio?"

Sorry Vic.

DD#No1 Angel Angel
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