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When a Cougar becomes so old she needs a hearing aid, does she turn into a Def Leppard??

DD Huh Huh
Ubique.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetocial question??

DD Smartass Smartass
Ubique.
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Following the 41 gun salute in Portsmouth yesterday afternoon, President Macron has phoned Boris Johnson and surrendered, just in case.

DD Rolleyes Rolleyes
Ubique.
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People are shocked when they discover I`m not a good electrician.

DD Angel Angel
Ubique.
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I had the nastiest, slowest, rudest cashier at ASDA today. I suppose it`s my own fault for using the self checkout lane.

DD Big Grin Big Grin
Ubique.
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(Loud knocking)

"OPEN UP IT`S THE POLICE".

Me. Prove it

"HOW?"

Me. Sing Roxanne.

DD Big Grin Big Grin
Ubique.
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It was "Take your kids to work day yesterday". As mine are all grown up I decided to take my 6 year old Grandaughter.
After showing her around for a while we went to the canteen for a bite to eat.
We sat down and suddenly she burst into tears. Everyone turned to look

I said "What`s wrong Sweetie"?

She replied innocently and rather loudly...... "Grandad, where are all the clowns you work with"??

DD Big Grin Big Grin
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Ubique.
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Girls mature faster than boys because men don`t usually develop breast`s until they are in their 40`s.

DD Angel Angel
Ubique.
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I told my G/F that giraffes can grow up to 18 feet.

She said "Yes, but most only have 4"

DD Doh Doh
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Ubique.
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I told my G/F she should embrace her mistakes.......

She hugged me.

DD Sick Sick
Ubique.
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