[Dingle-Dingle]

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.
"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I`m confused. NHS track and trace says I`ve been exposed to the virus 51 times in the last week......

I haven`t even been out the house!!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Disgusted that fireworks are being let off this early.
Not even Halloween yet.
The dog is so scared he`s hiding under the Christmas tree.

DD

[twertonparkbaggie]

Wind power?
Are you a big fan?

[Dingle-Dingle]

G/F "What`s that pile of clothes doing on the bathroom floor"?

Me "I struck down a Jedi"

G/F "God I hate you"

Me "Good, good uae that hate"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

If Russia attacks Turkey from the rear, would Greece help? Asking for a friend.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Porn films give young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

DD

[Maddix]

Things I never imagined I would ever say .......

"I like watching the snooker because I quite fancy the ref"

[Dingle-Dingle]

Is anyone on here interested in a FREE helicopter ride for 4 people?! I'm still looking for 2 more people to join us.
We leave early Saturday morning (October 24th) from Blackbushe airport and will fly to Port Solent, where we will have breakfast and then fly to Cowes and have lunch on a yacht.
Then we’ll fly along the coast to somewhere for dinner, then fly back to Blackbushe.
If interested please pm me....
Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht....otherwise we can't go.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

This is the first year I haven`t done the London Marathon due to Covid.

I normally don`t do it because I`m fat and can`t run.

DD