04-10-2020, 10:40
Wolverhampton Constabulary have issued a post saying "Man wanted for robberies".
So far they have recieved over 9000 applications.
DD
So far they have recieved over 9000 applications.
DD
Ubique.
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The Off Topic Thread
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04-10-2020, 10:40
Wolverhampton Constabulary have issued a post saying "Man wanted for robberies".
So far they have recieved over 9000 applications. DD
Ubique.
05-10-2020, 12:47
Police have been to interview Jurgen Klopp this morning. Something to do with exceeding the rule of six......
DD 
Ubique.
06-10-2020, 09:37
Q: Whats the fastest growing organisation since the end of WWII?
A: The French Resistance... 
06-10-2020, 17:24
The boss said to "Why are you late"??
I replied "I had a few beers last night and I set my calculator for £6;30" DD 
Ubique.
07-10-2020, 19:32
A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London .
"I vish to buy sex viz you." "Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour." "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky." "No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10." Helmut agrees So off they go the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees." The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested. "Now you vill get down on your hans und knees." This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs. "You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you." She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying). But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?" "Zat," replies the German, "is the Four-sprung Duck Technique." DD 
Ubique.
08-10-2020, 11:46
Just got back from the hospital and told the G/F the Doctor told me "I should touch myself whenever I want."
She replied "You`re a lying toad, he phoned and said you could have a stroke at any time" DD 
Ubique.
08-10-2020, 12:50
Saving private Ryan.
The Martian. Interstellar. Just imagine the amount of money the Americans have spent retrieving Matt Damon. DD 
Ubique.
08-10-2020, 18:10
As I'm not sure if this is a scam or not I really would appreciate your help.
I've just had a phone call saying that I had won £250.00 or two tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute night. It then said to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show...what should I do? DD 
Ubique.
08-10-2020, 20:17
Paintballing is fantastic fun, until some B`stard shouts out "Fix Bayonets"
DD
Ubique.
09-10-2020, 18:33
I saw a woman walking towards a door, so I opened it for her to be nice.
Instead of thanking me, both she and everyone else on the plane started screaming at me. DD
Ubique.
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