[Dingle-Dingle]

Can someone please inform the illegal immigrants in France that as from Monday it`s only six to a dinghy.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Now that I`ve lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches,

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Just had a phone call whilst in the pub...

"If you`re not home in ten minutes I`m giving your dinner to the dog"!

So I`ve had to run home, I love that dog.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Me "I got bitten by a Rottweiller on my walk this morning".

G/F "OMG what if it had been a small child"?

Me "FFS Karen, I could have fought off a small child"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Watching telly and a thoughts just come into my head.
If Fred West had a fight with Dennis Nilsen, who would end up under the patio?

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

It is the G/F’s Birthday soon.
Suddenly I am finding all sorts of Catalogues of expensive Jewellery lying around the house.
She will be delighted with the Magazine Rack I have bought her.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

How to test yourself for Coronavirus....

Step 1. Pour yourself a large glass of wine and try to smell it.
Step 2. If you can smell the wine, then drink it to see if you can taste it.
Step 3. If you can smell and taste the wine you can confirm you do not have Coronavirus.

Last night I did the test 9 times and all were negative, thank god.

Tonight I`m going to do the test again because I woke up this morning with a stinking headache and I feel like shit.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I'm feeling a little nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials held in London . The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

DD

[BaggieSteve]

I'm feeling a little nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials held in London . The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

DD    

[Dingle-Dingle]

Recently a new supermarket opened in our town. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is the scent of freshly mowed grass. In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens clucking and cackling,and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cakes.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore...

DD