[Dingle-Dingle]

I just said to the G/F "Here, put on this nurses outfit".

She said "Ohhh kinky devil"

"No" I replied, "We need a loaf".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Bought my Mum a mug which says, “Happy Mother’s day from the World’s Worst Son”.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I asked Mum what she wanted for Mother’s Day.
She said, “ A bit of care and comfort”
So I put her in a nursing home.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

One of my G/Daughters just asked me "Grandad, why have you got a few white hairs"?
I said "You get a white hair when you do something naughty".
To which she answered, "Grandma must have been a really bad girl then".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My children ordered their mother to stay in bed this Mother’s Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally came downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
“As a surprise for Mother’s Day,” one explained, “We decided to cook our own breakfast.”

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Son: When is Mother’s Day Dad?
Me, wearily unplugging the vacuum, “Every day son, every day.”

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

This Covid-19 must be serious. Just heard Nicola Sturgeon (wee jimmy krankie) speak for 30 minutes and not mention independence once.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Day 1 of home schooling.....

Not as easy as I thought it would be.

Both pupils suspended for fighting and the teacher fired for drinking on the job.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Warning.....

If you get an Email with the subject line "Ding Dong" don`t open it.

It`s Jehovah`s Witnesses working from home.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I`m curious.......

Does anyone know when we will find out which Hunger Games district we are in??

DD    

   

DD