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Roses are red

Violets are blue

Does this rag smell

Like chloroform to you?

DD Sick Sick
Ubique.
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Roses are Red

Violets are Red

The tree is Red.

xxxx, my garden is on fire!!

DD Doh Doh
Ubique.
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A guy walks into a bar and starts pretending to shoot arrows to a few girls. One of those girls smiles and gets closer to talk: "Hey, I saw that you threw me an arrow." she said while winking at him.

"Yes, I guess I did." came his reply.

"Who are you?", she asked. "Cupid throwing love arrows?"

"No, I'm Legolas killing orcs"

DD Big Grin Big Grin
Ubique.
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The police have just left.

They said if I`m going to walk around my house naked, I have to do it inside.

DD Cool Cool
Ubique.
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I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills, and a high sex drive.

Hello.

DD Blush Blush
Ubique.
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Q: How can you tell ET is a Wolves fan?

A: Because he looks like one.

DD Whistle Whistle
Ubique.
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It`s been that windy lately that my wheelie bin has to go on a speed awareness course.

DD Tongue Tongue
silverbaggie likes this post
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My mum knocked on my bedroom door, "My God, it sounds like you're strangling a cat in there, I don't think those violin lessons we've paid for have worked."

"Maybe it'd help if you'd bought me a violin," I quietly muttered as I picked up another kitten.

DD Doh Doh
Ubique.
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People are usually shocked when they find out I`m not a very good electrician.

DD Angel Angel
Stairs likes this post
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Mrs Beef was watching her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that is going to help."

"Sure it will," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers..."

DD Whistle Whistle
Ubique.
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