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03-01-2020, 16:46
(This post was last modified: 03-01-2020, 16:46 by talkSAFT.)
(03-01-2020, 12:48)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a Birmingham publishing house last night.
According to the Press, witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied,
confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered,
mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted,
astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled,
overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, and perplexed.
DD 
The driver was:
tipsy, stoned, stewed, high, plastered, inebriated, crocked, flying, lush, befuddled, lit, sloshed, muddled, glazed, wasted, flushed, potted, tanked, bashed, and buzzed......
the b*stard, tw*t, w*nker..........
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with
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A man walks into the local bar one Friday afternoon when he gets out of work. As he steps up to the bar, he sees his good friend Joe throw down 2 shots. He noted that Joe had a frown on his face.
“What’s with the long face, Joe?” he asks.
Joe responds, “My wife told me today that she was only going to have sex with me on Mondays and Thursdays!”
“Well", said the friend, “That’s not that bad, some of us she has cut off completely.”
DD 
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A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.
Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled.
They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, & told her to mash up some green persimmons & rub them on her nipples and all over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up & you won't be able to talk properly for a while.
The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said,
“Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday.
DD 
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Trump, "Hey, Siri. How many miles did I ran today"?
Siri, "OK, sending missiles to Iran today".
DD 
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A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
DD 
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I asked the blonde why she had TGIF written on her shoes even though it's Monday.
She replied, "Toes Go In First".
DD
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07-01-2020, 12:11
(This post was last modified: 07-01-2020, 12:11 by Dingle-Dingle.)
Having too much sex can cause memory loss.
I read that in chapter 3, page 37 in a medical journal on a Tuesday, November 2006 at 4:19PM.
DD 
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(07-01-2020, 12:11)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: Having too much sex can cause memory loss.
I read that in chapter 3, page 37 in a medical journal on a Tuesday, November 2006 at 4:19PM.
DD
Interesting, DD. Can you remember which medical journal?
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with
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Thanks, DD.
(What was the question again?)
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with
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