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Just bought a ginger beer, everyone in the pub took the piss. I felt sorry for him.
DD Big Grin Big Grin
drewks likes this post
Ubique.
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The Boss at work said to me today, "We are going to be doing random drug testing".
I replied "That`s fine, but I won`t try crack".

DD Sad Sad
Ubique.
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I will be posting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that was me. DD  Smartass  Smartass
Ubique.
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It's so easy these days to find out if you're pregnant. You just piss on a stick and 30 seconds later you get the result.

Back in the day, it wasn't that easy.

Do you know how my dad found out my mum was pregnant?

My grandad went round and kicked his head in.

DD Rolleyes Rolleyes
Ubique.
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A man met a beautiful lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away...

She said, “But we don't know anything about each other”...

He said, “That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along”...

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort...

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife...

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel...

She said, “That was incredible!”...

He said, “I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along”...

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths...

After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath...

He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”...

“No”, she said, “I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey”

DD Doh Doh
BaggieSteve likes this post
Ubique.
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Jack Grealish’s last 20 Premier League games:‬

‪LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL‬

DD Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh
Arcane Astral Aeons likes this post
Ubique.
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(17-08-2019, 18:33)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: Jack Grealish’s last 20 Premier League games:‬

‪LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL‬

DD  Laugh  Laugh  Laugh  Laugh

Every one's a gem DD but this made me laugh the most Laugh Laugh
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(17-08-2019, 18:33)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: Jack Grealish’s last 20 Premier League games:‬

‪LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL‬

DD  Laugh  Laugh  Laugh  Laugh

Effin Everton, spoilt a long running joke. DD Angry Angry
Ubique.
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People need to stop putting flyers on my car.

I don`t want to see a band called "Parking violation" at "The Courthouse".

DD Doh Doh
Ubique.
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If money is the root of all evil.......

Why do they ask for donations in church??

DD Huh Huh
Ubique.
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