[Dingle-Dingle]

Was at this party the other day and after 5 hours of filling me boots I decided to call it a day. I still felt confident to drive but being a responsable guy I called a cab instead.
Still have´nt a clue where I went because the party was at my house!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Apart from "It`s fine, don`t worry about it". What other death threats do women use.?? DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I asked my Mother if I was adopted.......

She said "Of course not. why would we have chosen you"!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I used to be addicted to swimming, but I`m very proud to say I`ve been dry for 6 years now. DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Three ladies are playing the 4th hole at a Certain Golf club in Dublin, when a naked man wearing a bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green.

The 3 ladies look and are in shock at the size of his manhood.

The first lady says, Well he definitely is not my husband.”

The second lady looks and says, “He for sure is not my husband.”

The third lady takes a good look and says, "He's not even a member of this club!”

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A Yank gets off the plane in Blackpool and gets into a cab, he gives the taxi driver the hotel name and off they set.. about a mile into the journey the Yank asks "what's that".?
The taxi driver replies, "that's the Pepsi big-one, biggest roller-coaster in England, built in 1996 in 6 months costing 20 million.
The yank replies...." we have one twice as big as that at home, only took 3 months to build and cost 40 million".
200 yards down the prom and the Yank again asks "what's that".?
The taxi driver again advises "That's the south pier, largest pier in Europe, built in 1899 at a cost of 5 million in just under 12 months".
The Yank replies...."we have one twice as long as that at home, only took 6 months to build and cost 10 million".
200 yards further down the prom, the Yank spots Blackpool tower, he asks "wow what's that"?
"xxxx knows," said the taxi driver, "wasn't there this morning."

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My mate Dave got called into the boss's office today.
"Dave, Leroy claims he's been the victim of racism at work."
"Like what?" Dave replied.
"Well, he reckons he was the only one who wasn't invited to the pub for someone's birthday last Friday."
"So?"
"So, Dave, it was Leroy's xxxx birthday!"

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My friend just asked me to be Usher at his wedding.
I said I'll try and learn a few songs but I won't be able to do the dance moves.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I had a goldfish that could breakdance on the carpet.
But only for like 30 seconds.
And only the once.

DD

[drewks]

I went for a swim at the local pool yesterday, and decided to have a crafty wee in the deep end.
Unfortunately the lifeguard saw me doing it straight away and blew his whistle SO hard!
Jeez - it was deafening. Made me jump so much I nearly fell in