[Dingle-Dingle]

I've done stupid things in life
that happens to every one
The only important thing is
that you learn from it
and get rid of the witnesses
and move somewhere else.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Once upon a time, there was a family of gnus, crossing the veldt, Daddy Gnu, Mommy Gnu and Baby Gnu.
Unfortunatly for the Gnus, Daddy Gnu was attacked and eaten by lions...Baby Gnu was so scared he ran away never to be seen again,
Mommy Gnu died of grief.

That is the end of the gnus................... Now here's the weather.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

The bad news is I accidently took the wrong medication today....

The good news is, I`m now protected against heartworms and fleas for the next 3 months.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Let`s see how many countries send us £2 a month now that we have no water......... DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Paul, my overweight friend moved to Australia a few years back. Well I’ve just heard some fantastic news....he’s returning to the UK next week for good . Yeah!
Fat Paul’s coming home , he’s coming home, he’s coming , fat Paul’s coming home.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!..
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!...
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...

PS. They forgot the German bra.

Holtzemfromfloppen...........!!!!!

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Beefy..... You may need these if you do get an invite to Zinmans party.....

   

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Ex Munich player Torsten Frings has been caught stealing seabirds to make sausages.......

Looks like Frings has taken a Tern for the Wurst.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My G/F, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.
We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.

Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.
Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.).

Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them......
I just never saw one mounted and framed."

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

A blonde had just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver.
He motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde, "Stand in the circle and don't move!"
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.
When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face.
So he said, "Oh, you think that's funny? Watch this."
He gets a cricket bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
He is getting really mad.
He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres.
Now she's laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it.
He goes back to his truck and gets a can of petrol, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked.
She replied, "When you weren't looking

I stepped outside the circle four times!!''

DD