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The Off Topic Thread
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23-06-2018, 02:09
Does anyone know the number of a vet?
I've been checking the room sizes in this new flat and the cat has suffered some head injuries. DD 
Ubique.
25-06-2018, 22:36
My G/F told me she'd got an invite to a fancy dress party.
"Oh, that explains the latex rubber sumo wrestler suit you're trying on" I said She replied "What xxxx latex rubber sumo suit? I'm naked you bastard" DD 
Ubique.
25-06-2018, 23:53
Lord Nelson was about 5ft 9in.....
His statue is 17ft 4in.... That`s Horatio of 3:1.... DD 
Ubique.
26-06-2018, 12:07
Don't pay £2 to have a shirt dry cleaned, donate it to charity shop they clean it and put it on a hanger
You can buy it back for 75 pence the next day..... DD 
Ubique.
26-06-2018, 16:23
I was watching Time Team.
Couldn't help but wonder why so many of the archaeologists were women Then it struck me They are good at digging up the past. DD
Ubique.
27-06-2018, 19:17
If you`re out for a drink tonight and there are Germans in the pub, for god`s sake don`t mention the Var. DD
Ubique.
27-06-2018, 23:47
I asked my son to pass me the phone book, and he handed me his mobile phone, saying, "FFS Dad you're so 1970s!" Anyway, to cut a long story short, spider dead, phone smashed, son distraught.
DD 
Ubique.
28-06-2018, 12:58
Breaking News...... Heatwave.
Councils across the Country rejoice as melting roads fill in their own potholes. DD
Ubique.
28-06-2018, 17:15
The G/F has bought one oh those "Smart cars".
It`s so smart it won`t let her in...... DD 
Ubique.
28-06-2018, 18:17
Every time I see a matress on top of a car I think it`s a prostitute making house calls....... DD
Ubique.
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