[Dingle-Dingle]

Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.

If you do the maths, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs. The tallest ones, anyway.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Vegetarians live up to 9 years longer than meat eaters.......
9 Horrible. worthless, baconless years.......

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I was born with nothing and looking back on my life today, I´m very proud to say that I´ve still got most of it.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Had some good news today. When I was younger I got hit with a Rhythm Stick. I have been advised that I may be able to persue a personal Ian Dury claim.

DD

[Salopbaggie]

This is as good as a joke, Ladbrokes have the dingles 7th favourite to win the Premiership, seriously, honest.

[4evaabaggie]

This is as good as a joke, Ladbrokes have the dingles 7th favourite to win the Premiership, seriously, honest.

It's differently a joke ...... on oddschecker

Wolves not in the top seven likely to get relegated haha
Wolves eighth favourite to lift the title ....... 300 - 1 ....... that's short odds Arsenal are 26 - 1

[Dingle-Dingle]

I was out on a date with this girl, when I asked her, "Do you spit or swallow"?
She slapped my face and stormed off..... I`m never taking anyone wine tasting again!!

DD

[4evaabaggie]

Flash flooding in Birmingham yesterday ...... blamed on the tears of villa fans

[Dingle-Dingle]

Beefy gets up from the bar and heads for the toilet. A few minutes later, a loud scream is heard coming from the toilet. then a few minutes later, another loud scream comes from the toilet. Then another loud scream.
The landlord goes into the toilet to investigate. Knocks on the toilet door and yells, "WHAT'S ALL THE SCREAMING ABOUT IN THERE! YOUR SCARING MY CUSTOMERS!"
I'm just sitting on the toilet says Beefy, and every time I try to flush the toilet, something comes up and squeezes my balls.
The landlord opens the door, looks in and says.
"YOU BLOODY IDIOT! YOUR SITTING ON THE MOP BUCKET!".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

My number one sexual fantasy came true last night when I slept with two lesbians.
Now my new number one sexual fantasy is to sleep with two lesbians who actually look like women.

DD