[Dingle-Dingle]

My next door neighbour knocked on my door wearing just a see through negligee, asked to borrow a cup of sugar and then winked at me and asked to come in for a cup of coffee.
I said "F%&k off Simon, I've got to go to work."

DD

[silverbaggie]

Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse.

Mickey is speaking to the judge about their intended separation.

"I'm sorry Mickey”, says the Judge,” but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane,"

Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"

[Dingle-Dingle]

Just for Boofy.

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.

Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

DD

[Worldclassalbion]

**********WARNING MORRISONS**********

2 Stunning eastern European girls are scamming drivers at Morrisons by offering to wash their cars for them topless. They remove their tops and Then ask for a lift to a certain destination. The one in the front apparently starts rubbing the drivers crotch area and eventually ends up giving him a Blow Job. while she is doing this the one in the back steals your wallet!!!

I was scammed myself on Wednesday, Twice on Thursday, again on Friday and Saturday!!!

---

Bloke goes in a bar and says to the barman, 20 shots of Whiskey please. Barman lines them up. The bloke as quick as lightning downs them all in an instant.

'Bloody hell' says the Barman 'you drank those fast'

Bloke replies 'You'd drink fast if you'd got what I've got'

Barman looking worried 'Why what have you got?'

Bloke replies '50 pence'

[Beefy 1965]

[silverbaggie]

What is a man's ultimate shame?

When he accidentally runs into a wall with a hard-on and hurts his nose first!

[Salopbaggie]

Is it wrong to have a warm smug feeling inside when looking at this?

[4evaabaggie]

£10, gosh that's expensive, a few years ago you could buy the club, ground, playing staff, in fact the whole kit and caboodle for a tenner.

Good to see their building on their success .............. or lack of.

[Dingle-Dingle]

£10, gosh that's expensive, a few years ago you could buy the club, ground, playing staff, in fact the whole kit and caboodle for a tenner.

Good to see their building on their success .............. or lack of.

If you look closer the tenner is crossed out and a 5 has been written in. DD

[BaggieMan]

Massive queue at the door I notice. 
Needs to be under a quid for the Dasterdly Dingles !