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The Off Topic Thread - Printable Version

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RE: The Off Topic Thread - derbybaggie - 26-07-2024

I’ve just come back from the jungle where I saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.

I turned to my guide and said "that lizard’s really funny!"

The guide replied, "that's not a lizard...He's a standup chameleon."


RE: The Off Topic Thread - derbybaggie - 30-07-2024

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.

Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs.


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Salopbaggie - 08-08-2024

Went in for a prostate exam today.
When the exam was finished the doctor left the room and the nurse came in
She shut the door and said those three words no man wants to hear

“Who was that?"


RE: The Off Topic Thread - derbybaggie - 15-08-2024

My doctor just diagnosed me with a severe lack of awareness.

That came out of nowhere.


RE: The Off Topic Thread - derbybaggie - 19-08-2024

I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local florist.

I'm not 100% sure though as he had his back to the fuchsias.


RE: The Off Topic Thread - derbybaggie - 20-08-2024

I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when they've never even seen one of his paintings


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Salopbaggie - 21-08-2024

Went swimming today.
Had a sneaky pee in the deep end.
Unfortunately the lifeguard saw me.
He blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.