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The Off Topic Thread - Printable Version

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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 24-12-2023

With the introduction of female referees for the first time in the premier league, players have been warned they may be booked for fouls committed years ago which they have completely forgotten about.

DD#No1 Flashing Flashing


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-01-2024

Tell your girlfriend she`s beautiful 1000 times and she thinks nothing of it.

Tell her she`s fat just once and she`ll remember forever.

They say elephants never forget.

DD#No1  Whistle Whistle


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 09-01-2024

Karen, one of the tenants in one of my flats has wrote to me saying her pronouns are now They/Them.

I wrote back refering to her tenancy agreement regarding occupancy and informed her I would be doubling her rent.

DD#No1 Big Grin Big Grin


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 11-01-2024

Top Tip for Veganuary.

When cooking Kale smother it in Coconut oil. Makes it easier to scrape into the bin.

DD#No1 Rolleyes Rolleyes


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 13-01-2024

Took the G/F to Subway today and asked the girl behind the counter to make me a sandwich. She said "Certainly Sir".

Turned to the G/f and said, "See how easy it is"

DD#No1 Blush Blush


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 13-01-2024

Isn`t it weird that the Government can police the Red Sea, but not the English Channel.

DD#No1 Angel Angel


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-01-2024

Woke up this morning and it`s as if Santa came to my house last night.

I have a trampoline, a garden shed, numerous pairs of socks, a patio table and a Ryanair 737MAX8 out in the back garden.

DD#No1 Sick Sick


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 27-01-2024

Just seen on TV the forcast calls for....

Rane, hale, drissle, thundre, litnin and frizzin culd.

Just a really bad spell of weather.

DD#No1 Doh Doh


RE: The Off Topic Thread - derbybaggie - 15-07-2024

Now the Euro’s have ended we’ve started playing a new U2 themed board game called Bonopoly.

It’s like regular Monopoly but where the streets have no name.


RE: The Off Topic Thread - derbybaggie - 16-07-2024

Scientists are studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds.

They've left no tern unstoned.