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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 05-05-2023
Ed and Carolyn met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Carolyn to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Carolyn was indeed his soul mate...and true love.
Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Carolyn to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
Carolyn took a deep breath and responded, "Ed that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've...I've been a hooker."
"That's alright." Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”
DD#No1
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 09-05-2023
My mate Dave ended up in hospital after playing Peek-a-Boo with his Grandson.
He`s in ICU.
DD#No1
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Salopbaggie - 13-05-2023
Bit of a strange one yesterday, went into a restaurant, sat down called over the waitress I only asked her, "could I ask you about the menu please?"
She snapped my head off saying "the men she pleases is none of my business."
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 14-05-2023
The invention of the shovel was truly groundbreaking.
DD#No1
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-05-2023
After a gruelling and sometimes dangerous 2 hour car chase, the Paperazzi finally managed to shake off Harry and Meg.
DD#No1
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-05-2023
In the pub tonight and my mate Dave`s wife remarked, "My grandchild will not eat fish, what can I replace it with"?
I said "A cat, cat`s love fish".
DD#No1
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 20-05-2023
My girlfriend went vegan, and it changed her personality.
It was like I had never met herbivore.
DD#No1
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-05-2023
WELL...Unfortunately, the cost of living has finally affected us financially.
In order to offset the extra cost for food, electricity, etc. I have a need to make some extra money on the side...it is what it is.
So here’s to my new venture.
So...I am now proud to announce that I am selling ADULT TOYS. I hope no one will feel embarrassed to ask for them. I have all kinds, sizes, and styles according to your needs. I can send pictures and dimensions etc. Just ask. Discretion is guaranteed!!
Ask for yours anytime.
I have everything listed below:
-Walkers
-Wheelchairs
-Oxygen tanks
-Walking sticks
-Adult diapers
-Teeth glue
-Heating pads and more.
DD#No1
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 27-05-2023
Never leave home without a kiss, a hug and an I love you.
Then spit the dog hair out of your mouth as you walk to the car.
DD#No1
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Salopbaggie - 29-05-2023
Just brought a brand new 50" TV to watch the Premier League next season, got it home, opened the box and there's no bloody Leeds.