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The Off Topic Thread - Printable Version

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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 15-04-2022

My Doctor has diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation.

I`m worried shitless.

DD #No1 Tongue Tongue


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 16-04-2022

Posed nude for an art class last night.

They didn`t ask me to, I think they were making ceramic bowls.

DD #No1 Big Grin Big Grin


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 17-04-2022

Don`t you just hate it when you clean out your freezer and find prople you don`t even recognise....

DD Sick Sick


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-04-2022

When I was young I was poor, but after many years hard work.....

I`m no longer young.

DD Whistle Whistle


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 21-04-2022

SKY BREAKING NEWS …


Manchester United can confirm that following a scan - Paul Pogba has suffered a badly twisted sock and will miss the rest of the season.
He may fly out to Dubai or the USA to get it ironed out.

DD Big Grin Big Grin


RE: The Off Topic Thread - drewks - 23-04-2022

They said I'd never be any good at poetry because I'm dyslexic, but I've made 2 jugs and a vase so far and they're great! ?


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 24-04-2022

I walked down to my local paint shop to get thinner....

It didn`t work.

DD Doh Doh


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 24-04-2022

Now that Scunthorpe United have been relegated from the English Football League there’s now only Two Clubs left with hidden rude words in their name.

Arsenal and xxxx Wolves.

DD #No1 Angel Angel


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-05-2022

I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

DD#No1 Whistle Whistle


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 03-05-2022

One day when Jesus was relaxing in Heaven, He happened to notice a familiar-looking old man.

Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, "Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?"

"Yes," said the old man, "but he wasn't my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens."

"Very interesting," said Jesus. "Did this boy ever have to fight temptation?"

"Oh, yes, many times," answered the old man. "But he eventually won. Unfortunately, he heroically died at one point, but he came back to life shortly afterwards."

Jesus couldn't believe it. Could this actually be His father?

"One last question," He said. "Were you a carpenter?"

"Why yes," replied the old man. "Yes I was."

Jesus rubbed His eyes and said, "Dad?"

The old man rubbed his eyes and said, "Pinocchio?"

Sorry Vic.

DD#No1 Angel Angel