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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-04-2020
Social isolation.....
Day 12.
The dog just looked at me, smiled and said, "Now you know why I chew the furniture".
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Salopbaggie - 01-04-2020
So... I have just seen a news report about the stresses & strains of self isolation. reporting that people are going crazy from being in lock down!
It was strange, actually, because I had just been talking about this with the microwave & toaster & we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she always has to put a different spin on everything & certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold & distant. In the end the iron calmed me down. She said everything will be fine, which surprised me because she’s usually the first one to apply unnecessary pressure & get steamed up over nothing !!!
I think she might have been sneaking off to the medicine cabinet.
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-04-2020
Stood on my bathroom scales this morning and they said "Please use social distancing, one person at a time."
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-04-2020
Just booked my summer holiday. Costa del Backyard here we come.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-04-2020
My G/F yelled from upstairs and asked "Do you ever get a shooting pain through your body, like someone has a Voodoo doll of you and they are stabbing it"?
Sounding concerned i replied "No..."
"How about now"? She said.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 02-04-2020
When this crisis is over, if you had to choose between going on a bender with the lads or taking your partner out for a romantic dinner.....
Which pub would you meet your mates in??
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 02-04-2020
The Eastern Europe Council of Great Britain is to lobby Parliament to subsidise it`s members during the Covid crisis.
A spokesperson said. "A large proportion of our people have suffered a massive income drop during this outbreak. It`s very hard to pick a pocket from 2 metres.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 02-04-2020
Heard a commotion in the street earlier. Armed police had surrounded my neighbours house.
The negotiator was there with his megaphone telling them to come out with their hands washed.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 02-04-2020
My neighbour with the big boobs has been walking up and down the garden topless all day.
I just wish his wife would do the same.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 03-04-2020
Just seen a burglar kicking his own front door in. I asked "What you doing"?
He replied "Working from home".
DD